buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
