Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
