he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
