you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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