That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
