I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
