i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
