Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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