I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can I color on your dick again?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
