I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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