Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
