if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
