She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
