I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
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I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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