OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
