Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
