She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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