Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
