He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
