It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize