just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
