Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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