I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
