is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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