That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
