You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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