Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
