I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
