My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
