I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
