No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
