no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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