He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
