Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
