well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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