chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
