I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
