loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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