all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
