And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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