just come out here and I will go home with you...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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