Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
