i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
