Already got asked if we're dating
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
