There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
