We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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