I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
