My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
