Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
