How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
