So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
