My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
