Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
