Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
