I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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