I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
