dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize