Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Randomize
