Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
