Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
