So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
