I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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