ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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