Define "chronic" masturbator.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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