The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
