im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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