so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize