Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
