4 words: hood of his car
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize