He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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